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via: Relevant Magazine 

Ask 20 people what a “date” means or looks like and you will get 20 different answers —different etiquette, different expectations, different experiences, different everything.

Apparently most of us are just making it up as we go along.


Done well, a date is an art and a mystery. Few things are more intoxicating and memorable than a truly great date. Unfortunately, it seems the proper date is becoming a lost art.

Currently our culture seems to be caught in a paradox of not wanting to make a date that big of a deal (“it’s just coffee!”) yet still wanting a date to mean something special —for someone to make a big deal for them.

Strong desires for romance and equally strong fears of hurt, commitment or “missing out” clash and confuse. Often materializing as very weak behavior, as explored in a recent New York Times article on the end of courtship.

Perhaps there is no better time than now to resurrect the art of the proper date—dates that matter, are brave and are done right.

ALSO SEE: Minister Av “Relationships and Dating in the Bible’

A date should matter.

Like art, a date is the pursuit of something meaningful.

Are You Dating A Cheater? Take The Quiz (thumbnail)

More than just semantics, making the word “date” mean something specific is important to hold onto. Otherwise, we end up the laziness, veiled intentions, all-or-nothing pursuits, hook-up culture, loaded expectations and all the rest that modern dating is so easily critiqued for.

Fortunately for Christians, the solution is clear. As the body of Christ, just because a man and a woman are together doesn’t mean it is a date or their intentions are romantic. In fact, it is vital to this theology of relationshipsthat it not be seen that way. Therefore, a date needs to be a clear, intentional act of pursuing a relationship.

What a relationship “is” matters. A proper date is the clearest way to avoid needless confusion or the ridiculousness that is constant defining-the-relationship conversations. Instead, we should be living and communicating with such conviction that a “DTR” is never needed.

Most importantly, a date should matter simply because people matter. Making a date meaningful is an act of showing others their immutable value. Anything less is just selfish.


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