This is an on-going subject among single people everywhere… what does it take to keep a relationship going? Here’s an insightful article from Relevant Magazine that could start some decent conversations at the coffee table:
By Nicole Unice – Relevant Magazine
The first bite of my lunch stuck in my throat as soon as she started crying. A friend and I had just sat down for a meal and a catch-up session after being out of touch for a few months. She shrugged and stared down at her burrito as the tears continued. “I’ve given it everything I can … two years of my life. And now he’s just not returning my calls or texts. I can’t believe this is happening.” As we talked about her failed relationship, I found myself reflecting on a question I’ve pondered for months: What is the one thing every relationship—friendship, dating, marriage—must have to be healthy?
When I asked my friend this question, she said communication. I ask others, and they say humility or honesty or Jesus.
But I think there’s something even more important than any of that. It’s the one thing that Jesus needs from you. It’s the one thing your relationships need from you. By the end of our lunch, my friend and I both knew this mysterious factor was exactly what her boyfriend was lacking: The desire to grow.
I’m guessing that sounds obvious, even stupid, to you. Everyone wants to grow, right? Perhaps in theory, but in reality, many people don’t want to do the work that growth requires. Friendships, working relationships and marriages all eventually turn toxic if both parties aren’t committed to growth. Think about people who’ve bugged you to no end, the ones who are “close-minded” or “stuck in their ways” or “control freaks.” At the end of the day, isn’t the heart of our complaint the fact that these people won’t change, won’t flex, won’t grow?
As a marriage counselor, I see this hurdle when a husband or wife simply won’t show up for sessions. Nothing says “I refuse to grow” like that! And yet, how often are we guilty of the same thing in being physically present in our relationships, yet refusing to show up mentally or emotionally.